I contend that it is when you push yourself, is when your prayer is worth more. I think it is more worthy.
Follow my train of thought.
You don't like children. You don't know how to act, or say.....you're just uncomfortable with them. But you're friend teaches little children. And not only can't your friend understand how anyone could not like children, he actually thinks it's a terrible thing that you don't care for children. He doesn't shut up about it.
You meditate on it. And you decide that you are going to try to look at children through your friend's eyes. You'll try to see what's so wonderful about little kids.
So your friend arranges for you to volunteer with him. So the first day, a little girl pees on you while you're reading a story. The next day, some little #^*# asked, "Why are you so fat?" In fact, a day didn't go by, that you don't have some horror story.
But you pushed yourself to go back every day, if only to prove to your friend that you really, really, did try to like children.
Eventually, you know these kids by name. Then you know them by personality. You get to know when they're sad, mad, happy, and you know what? You start to care about them. Somehow, they wormed their way into your heart.
Alright...alright! You grow to love them.
This is the point of my story. I contend, that your love is better, more worthy, if you will, than your friend's love, because the friend did just what came naturally to him. He loved children. You on the other hand, had to work on it. You pushed yourself to do something you didn't want to do. And I think the same is true of prayer. When you pray when you don't feel like it, when you have to push yourself, it's worth more. Actually, you're praying to please God, not yourself. An act of love that will please God.
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